The smudge looked suspicious. The doctor confirmed: "That's the baby's penis!" Joel's reaction? Pure panic. "I pictured having to go camping and fix a car and use a hammer and throw a football and watch professionals throw footballs and figure out whether to be sad or happy about the results of said football throwing." So begins Joel's quest to confront his effete nature whether he likes it or not (he doesn't), by becoming a Boy Scout, doing a 24-hour shift with LA firefighters, going hunting, rebuilding a house, enduring three days of basic training with the Army at Fort Knox, firing a tank, and going into the ring with UFC Hall of Famer Randy Couture. Seeking help from a panel of experts, including his aggro dad, his self-reliant father-in-law, former MLB All Star Shawn Green, former NFL star Warren Sapp and UFC President Dana White, he expects to learn that masculinity is not defined by the size of his muscles but by the size of his heart. This is not at all what he learns.